A Very Ranting Christmas
by Cyber Spartan
Summary: The guys of RANTS are back and they're throwing a Christmas Party
1. Chapter 1

We come to a trailer park in New Jersey outside is the giant car robot, Megas, inside are myself the Cyber Spartan, Justin Thomas, my creation and the pilot of Megas Coop, we're out of a job since every Naruto fanbrat sued us for attemoting to do an episode of the hit comedy series RANTS where fictional characters could vent out their feelings about the fanfiction and fanart as well as their fame but now we're cancelled

"Hot Pockets are ready!" Coop said comming out of the kitchen

the phone rings, I was asleep in my own self pity, Justin threw the phone at me

"Answer the phone lardo" Justin said

I got up and answered it

"What?" I asked

"Mr. Spartan this is Doug Dibadome from Fairly Oddparents" a voice said on the other end of the line

"Doug Dibbadome?" I asked, I was half asleep

"You know the producer of your show?" he said

"Yeah untill it got cancelled" I said

"Not anymore" He said

"Say what?" I asked

"RANTS is back on the air!" Doug said

"Really?!" I asked

"Yep" He said

I hung up and jumpped out of my chair

"Boys we're back!!" I yelled

"You're joking!" Coop said

"We got to celibrate" Justin said

"Hey it's almost Christmas why not a Christmas Party" Coop said

"Great idea" Justin said, "Hey CS what do you think?"

"I'm already making the invitations" I said already writing the 25th invitation

Five days later at the home of one Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat, Sub-Zero walked out to the mail-box, he opens it and pulls out an invitation

"Hmm, You're invited to a Very Ranting Christmas, come celibrate the glorious return of RANTS" Sub-Zero read the invitation

He looked to his around to see his neighbors Ermack from across the street and Smoke from the right got invitations too, he then looked to his left and met eyes with Scorpion.

"You got an invitation too" Scorpion asked

"Yeah" Sub-Zero said

Who else got the invitations find out next time


	2. Chapter 2

Here is what happened last time on A Very Ranting Christmas........

"RANTS is back on the air!!" I yelled

"No way!!" Coop said

to Sub-Zero and Scorpion

"You got an invitation too?" Sub Zero asked

"Yeah" Scorpion said

Now back with our show

We are at Peach Creek where new resident Owen goes up to his mail box

"Hmmm Christmas party you say" Owen said reading the invitation he then runs back to his house, "Hey mom, can I go to this Christmas party in two weeks?"

"Of corse sweety, but if they do any drugs there you call me and I'll get you out of there" Owen's mom replied

Owen wasn't the only resident of Peach Creek to get invieted, the Eds, Rolf, and Nazz got invitations as well.

Meanwhile in Greensville, Kentucky, home of the first super sayain Broly, he gets an invitation also, so does (and I'm going to hurt my wrist doing this *whimper*) Darkseid, Liu Kang, Kano, Sonya Blade, Jax, Raiden, Sheing Suen, Kitana, Superman, Batman, Underfist, Ash Williams from Evil Dead, Hellboy, Lord Zedd, Rita, Goldar, Rodan, Mothra, Kiryu, Godzilla, Ghidorah, Monster X, Angiruis, Wonder Woman, Joker, The Teen Titans, Wolverine, Sabertooth, Van Helsing, Dracula, Crypto and Pox from Destroy All Humans, Ultraman, Goku, Vegeta, several cast members of Naruto, the Storm Hawks, the origanal Power Rangers, Ironman, the Hulk, Spiderman, Captain America, Hal Jordan the Green Lantern, The Flash, Rogue, Gamera, Gyaos, Gomera, Red King, Thor, the cast of Ben 10 Alien Force, the rest of Total Drama Island, Frylock, Shake, Meatwad, Johnny Bravo, Pops, Agent J, Agent K, Agent L, Zed, the Twins and the Worms, Donald Duck, Howard the Duck, Daffy Duck, Shrek, Donkey, Puss in Boots, and the cast of Danny Phantom.

2 weeks later and 12 hours till the party Justin, Coop, and I were getting ready at Doug Dibbadome's Party Center, Sub-Zero, Smoke, Scorpion, Ermack, and Reptile came up in Sub-Zero's H2 Hummer

"We are here for the party" Reptile said

"What?" I asked

"The invitation said the party starts at 6:00" Smoke said

"That's 6:00 pm, it's now 6:00 am" Justin said

"Damn it, Ermack! You said 6:00 am!!" Scorpion said

"I can't help it, Spartan's p's look like a's" Ermack said

"I am sooooo resisting the urge to rip out your skeleton" Sub-Zero face palmed

"Well since we're early you guys want help setting things up?" Smoke asked

"Sure, I wonder who else got the invitations wrong?" Coop thought

Suddenly Eddy ran in with Ed, Double Dee, Rolf, and Nazz following

"Let's mambo!" Eddy shouted

"We still got 12 hours till we can 'mambo'," Scorpion told Eddy

"I told you Eddy" Double Dee said

''Get on board the Ed train'' Ed grabbed Smoke

''Let GO!!'' Smoke shouted as he punched Ed in the head

''ED!!'' Eddy yelled as he pounced on Ed, ''You said 6:00 am sharp!''

''One eyebrow Ed-boy, why did you get the time confused?'' Rolf asked

''Gravy'' Ed shouted randomly

''That answers you question, he's an idiot!'' Reptile said, ''Want me to kill him?''

''Good lord no!!'' Double Dee

''Since we're here I guess we can help you guys get ready.'' Nazz said

''Yeah, Scorpion and Ermack can help fix the meals, Smoke and I can help with decorations, and Reptile....are there little kids comming to the party?'' Sub-Zero asked

''No but it wouldn't be Christmas without Santa but I don't think Reptile is big enough for the suit'' I replied

''I was thinking he would be an elf'' Sub-Zero said

''WHAT?! NO NO NO NO NO NO WAY IN HELL!!!'' Reptile said

will Reptile be an elf, who else will come early? and will Red Tornado ever find the true meaning of Chritsmas, oh wait that's from Batman: the Brave and the Bold. well see you next time


	3. Chapter 3

''Okay thanks for helping us with cooking the dinner guys'' Ermack said to Double Dee and Rolf

''Yeah we really need the help'' Coop added

''No problem'' Double Dee said

''Yes, and the son of a sheperd will prepare the cooked animal meat'' Rolf said

''I'm already on the turkey'' Scorpion said with the turkey 10ft away from him, ''GET OVER HERE!'' he said as a kunai with a rope tied to it shot out of his hand, stabbed the turkey and he pulled it over th him

Scorpion then took off his mask to reveal a flaiming skull and he breathed fire on the bird, cooking it all the way through leaving it golden brown

Coop, Rolf, and Double Dee were shocked at the sight, Ermack acted like it was nothing

''Never do that again'' Double Dee said

''Say how about a Christmas parody song?'' Coop asked, ''you know to help us work''

''Sounds cool'' Ermack said as he opened the kitchen door, ''hey guys we're gonna sing a parody Christmas song, wanna join''

''Alright, who's starting?'' Sub-Zero asked

''I will'' Coop said

now as they work, you the reader sit back, relax and enjoy the 12 days of Christmas

Coop:_ On the first day of Christmas sombody gave to me, a New York style Phillie!_

He takes a bite out of a Phillie Cheese Steak

Double Dee: _On the Second day of Christmas sombody gave to me, two brand new hats!_

Coop:_ And a New York Style Phillie!_

Scorpion: _On the third day of Christmas sombody gave to me, three severed skulls!_

Double Dee: _Two brand new hats!_

Coop: _And a New York Style Phillie!_

CS(me): _On the fourth day of Christmas somebody gave to me, 4 billion bucks!_

Scorpion: _Three severed skulls!_

Double Dee: _Two brand new hats!_

Coop: _And a New York Style Phillie!_

Reptile, Ermack, and Smoke: _On the fifth day of Christmas somebody gave to me, five downloads!_

''For Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe.'' Reptile added

Ermack glared at Reptile, ''Shut up!'' Ermack said

CS: _4 billion bucks!_

Scorpion: _Three severed skulls!_

Double Dee: _Two brand new hats!_

Coop: _And a New York Style Phillie!_

Ed: _On the sixth day of Christmas somebody gave to me, six brain mutants!_

Reptile, Ermack, and Smoke: _Five downloads!_

CS: _4 billion bucks!_

Scorpion: _Three severed skulls!_

Double Dee: _Two brand new hats!_

Coop: _And a New York Style Phillie!_

Nazz: _On the seventh day of Christmas somebody gave to me, seven perverted love notes!_

Ed:_ six brain mutants!_

Reptile, Ermack, and Smoke: _Five downloads!_

CS: _4 billion bucks!_

Scorpion: _Three severed skulls!_

Double Dee: _Two brand new hats!_

Coop: _And a New York Style Phillie!_

Sub-Zero: _On the eighth day of Chrstmas somebody gave to me, eight frozen corpses!_

Nazz: _seven perverted love notes!_

Ed:_ six brain mutants!_

Reptile, Ermack, and Smoke: _Five downloads!_

CS: _4 billion bucks!_

Scorpion: _Three severed skulls!_

Double Dee: _Two brand new hats!_

Coop: _And a New York Style Phillie!_

Eddy: _On they ninth day of Christmas somebody gave to me, nine jawbreakers!_

Sub-Zero:_ eight frozen corpses!_

Nazz: _seven perverted love notes!_

Ed:_ six brain mutants!_

Reptile, Ermack, and Smoke: _Five downloads!_

CS: _4 billion bucks!_

Scorpion: _Three severed skulls!_

Double Dee: _Two brand new hats!_

Coop: _And a New York Style Phillie!_

Justin: _On the tenth day of Christmas somebody gave to me, ten leather jackets!_

Eddy:_ nine jawbreakers!_

Sub-Zero:_ eight frozen corpses!_

Nazz: _seven perverted love notes!_

Ed:_ six brain mutants!_

Reptile, Ermack, and Smoke: _Five downloads!_

CS: _4 billion bucks!_

Scorpion: _Three severed skulls!_

Double Dee: _Two brand new hats!_

Coop: _And a New York Style Phillie!_

Rolf: _On the eleventh day of Christmas sombody gave to Rolf, eleven fried yams!_

Justin: _ten leather jackets!_

Eddy:_ nine jawbreakers!_

Sub-Zero:_ eight frozen corpses!_

Nazz: _seven perverted love notes!_

Ed:_ six brain mutants!_

Reptile, Ermack, and Smoke: _Five downloads!_

CS: _4 billion bucks!_

Scorpion: _Three severed skulls!_

Double Dee: _Two brand new hats!_

Coop: _And a New York Style Phillie!_

All: _On the twelvth day of Christmas somebody gave to me:_

_twelve crappy fan fics_

_eleven fried yams!_

_ten leather jackets!_

_nine jawbreakers!_

_eight frozen corpses!_

_seven perverted love notes!_

_six brain mutants!_

_Five downloads!_

_4 billion bucks!_

_Three severed skulls!_

_Two brand new hats!_

_And a New York Style Phillie!_

"Well we're done!" Scorpion said, looking at all of the food he and his group prepared, turkey, ham, other random types of meats, pies, cakes, corn on the cob, all sorts of vegitables and fuits, home made candies, and for Ed, buttered toast with gravy

"Wait, how the hell did you get finished?" I asked

"Oh, we worked while we sung" Coop saod

"My great nano, showed me how to do that durring holiday labor" Rolf said

"Now you go finish your work, you got two hours till the party starts" Scorpion scoffed and sat down

"I can help out if you need any" Double Dee said

"So shall the son of a sheperd" Rolf added

Merry belated Christmas, sorry it took me so long, a lot of crap went on with my computer, my internet was down, and I had to get a new keyboard(because my old one chose to get AIDS and not work), and from the 23rd to Christmas day I was in Kentuckey with my family for the holidays, I'm going to try to finish this as fast as possible and again, Merry Christmas, Happy Hollidays, and Happy New Year


	4. Chapter 4

"We are done" I said falling down out of breath

"No thanks to the lazy ass brothers" Sub-Aero said, glaring at Scorpion and Eddy

just then the first guest arrives, Broly

"Aww crap," Reptile said

"What?" Coop asked

"Last week I got into an arguement with that guy at a Shony's parking lot and when he went in, I keyed his car" Reptile replied, hiding behind the tree

Broly noticed Reptile, and charged at him

"You!!!" Broly roared

"Help me!!!" Reptile screamed

well while Broly beats the snot out of Reptile, lets try to see if Ed has any activity in his head

(Meanwhile in Ed's head)

Holy crap another song number, and it's a parody f the ultimate showdown with some of the party guest!

_Old Zilla was hopping around,_

_Gothm City like a big playground._

_When suddenly Sub-Zero burst from the shade,_

_and hit Zilla with an Icegrenade._

_Zilla got pissed and began to attack,_

_but didn't expect to be blocked by Pox._

_Who proceeded to open up a can of Pox Fu,_

_when Johnny Brovo came out of the blue._

_And he started beating up Orthropox 13,_

_then they both got flattened by an Ice machine._

_but before it could make it back to the Icecave,_

_Captain America popped out of his grave._

_And took an AK47 out from under his mask,_

_and blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tatsk._

_But he ran out of bullets and he ran away,_

_because Ultraman Tiga came to save the day._

_This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny._

_Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see._

_And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be._

_This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny_

_Zilla took a bite out of Ultraman,_

_like Chowder took a bite out of the Icecream man._

_And then Pox came back covered in a tire trox,_

_but Samurai Jack jumped out and landed on his box._

_And Sub-Zero was injured, and trying to get steady,_

_when Captain America came back with a machete._

_But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped,_

_Robot Jones took him out with his whip._

_Then he saw Zilla sneaking up from behind,_

_and he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find._

_'Cause Sub-Zero stole it and he shot and he missed,_

_and Samurai Jack deflected it with his fist._

_Then he jumped in the air and did a summersault,_

_while Captain America tried to pole vault._

_onto Ultraman, but they collided in the air._

_then they both got hit by a Smurfy Stare._

_This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny._

_Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see._

_And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be._

_This is the Ultimate Showdown..._

_Angels sang out in immaculate chorus,_

_down from the heavens descended Captain Gordon._

_Who delivered a kick which could shatter bones,_

_into the crotch of Robot Jones._

_Who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain,_

_as Sub-Zero changed back into Marty McFly._

_but Doug saw through his clever disguise,_

_and he crushed Sub-Zero's head in between his thighs._

_Then Latios the Blue and Latias the Red and_

_Ash the guy from the movie Evil Dead._

_And Coop Coopwilski and Doug Funnie,_

_and Captain Planet and Adam West_

_Gizmo Duck, the Governator,_

_Darkwing Duck, and Mr. Spock_

_Peter Pan, Megaman,_

_every single Storm Hawk._

_Spimpson J. Cat and Ren Hoek,_

_Scrooge, Three Stooges, Doc Doom, and Shrek -_

_All came out of no where lightning fast,_

_And they kicked Captain Gordon in his Don Frey ass._

_It was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw,_

_with civilians looking on total awe._

_And the fight raged on for a century,_

_many lives were claimed, but eventually._

_The champion stood, the rest saw their better:_

_Mario and Luigi a bloodstained sweaters._

_This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny._

_Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see._

_And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be._

_This is the Ultimate Showdown..._

_This is the Ultimate Showdown..._

_This is the Ultimate Showdown..._

_of Ultimate Destiny_

(back in the real world)

"That's Mama Luigi to you Mario!" Ed shouted randomly

Broly stopped beating up Reptile(while Eddy stopped filming it to post it on youtube), everybody who either were already there or just arived looked at Ed

"Is he always like.....?" Captain Gordon asked

"Yes" Double Dee replied

"Sheesh, I thought he was just acting when we were doing War of the Monsters" Major Hicks said

Meanwhile a few blocks away we meet Zilla and Komodothrax who were on the way

"Why do I got to come?" Zilla asked

"Why not hon, I'm sure Cyber Spartan forgot you breathing fire on him" Komodothrax replied

"You don't forget that, remember Final Wars, I havent forgot Godzilla blowing me from Sydney to New York" Zilla said

RantRantRantRantRantRantRantRantRant

Will Zilla and Komodothrax get to the party?

Will Cyber Spartan forget about Zilla burning him alive?

"Don't count on it!" I said

"Will Reptile survive Broly's beating?

Find out next time, same Bat time, same Bat fiction


End file.
